We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
