I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
