I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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