There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
