If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My dick has a subreddit
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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