If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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