he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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