the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
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