My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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