Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
