my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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