Midget sex pt 2 tonight
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
