He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS