Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
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ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.