Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
