Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank

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(540): View more from Virginia

Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?

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(281): View more from Texas

Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.

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(514): View more from Quebec

He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!

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(619): View more from California

Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care

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