i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
birth control should be required to get into college
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.