I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
being pregnant is like rehab
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is