God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.