How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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