I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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