Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse