You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.