can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
