All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize