So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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