the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
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and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
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I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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