Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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