She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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