Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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