Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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