Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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