he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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