guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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