She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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