You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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