The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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