Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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