could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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