She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
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I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
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Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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