yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
