All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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