i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
what day is it and did you see me today?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
