wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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