anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize