Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
