I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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