Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize