Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.