Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.