have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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