just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm