Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?