I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.