I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We had to coat check the pizza.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial