I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows