if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
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