I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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