ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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