also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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